At the Navy Fighter Weapons School (aka “Topgun”) and the Navy Flight Demonstration Squadron (aka “Blue Angels”), everyone knows it is their responsibility, their duty to speak up if they disagree, if they see an issue that needs resolved. This certainly applies in the air and equally on the ground as they move rapidly through their hectic schedules of meetings, briefings, and flying.

This is something many leaders miss. And it costs them more than they realize. Just watch an episode of Undercover Boss.

Why? Because we don’t see the world as it is, we see it as we are. Everyone sees the world and events in their own way, from their own perspective and experience — no two of us see life exactly the same.

It’s much easier to connect with someone you agree with. You are already in alignment. Much harder to connect with someone who disagrees with you. How do you get them to believe you understand them?

In the Navy and Marine Corps we were always training; always seeking to improve our individual and team performance. Even in combat, under the most stressful conditions, we reviewed our performance carefully and sought improvement.

The fifth question asked when judging someone’s trustworthiness is “Do I understand you?” It’s difficult to trust someone who you don’t understand.

High-Trust Leadership requires authenticity. It is more about who you are than what you say or the role you play.

Late November I received a holiday card from a good friend. He sends them before every holiday. Actually, he doesn’t send them, a holiday-card email service sends them to everyone on his mailing list.

A well-known book for successful leaders entitled What Got You Here Won’t Get You There describes how success can contribute to a leader’s resistance to change and account for counter-productive behaviors. One is our tendency to exaggerate our contribution to the team’s success and minimize our role in setbacks and failures.

Every December before commencing pre-season Winter Training, the Blue Angels have an all-hands meeting. Its purpose is to get everyone on the same page by clearly defining the team’s values and its mission. It is a time of reflection and story-telling as the new members of the team begin their assimilation and the returning members are reminded of “Who are we?” “Why do we exist?” “How must we behave and perform to succeed?”

Many cultures and religions have strong traditions of extending hospitality, even to strangers. Often because it originated as a matter of survival. During early days, helping others was necessary for survival of the species. Along the way, extending hospitality was woven into most people’s hormonal reward system by nature and nurture. Extending hospitality that is gratefully received causes the release of dopamine and a feeling of pleasure.

What is the biggest impediment to walking our talk, to living our values? If you peel the onion, you often find it is us.

High performance teams that achieve and sustain extraordinary levels of success have many characteristics in common, but likely the most important is a powerful, inspirational story.

Many times people say things and I’ll think, “YES! That’s what I’m thinking.” During a Knowledge Project podcast, Jennifer Garvey Berger beautifully described the difference between a Charismatic Leader and a Great [High-Trust] Leader.

High-Trust Leaders are uncommon. One of the reasons they are uncommon is they are willing to do work that others shy away from: the mundane, the routine, the uncomfortable, the frustrating, the re-do to get it right, the unappreciated, the boring. We often refer to these tasks as “have-to” tasks.

Gratitude is a powerful emotion with many benefits, including better health, improved relationships, and a sense of humility that allows for greater empathy. In contrast, it becomes obvious when you think of someone you know who is ungrateful and carries a large sense of entitlement.

Nearly all of us have strapped-in to a Mach 2 world. We’re busy, we’re frantic, we’re self-absorbed. The answer: be clear, concise, and direct.

Stay on the high road of walking your talk with routine reminders of your values, promises, and responsibilities.

When I was a newly winged naval aviator, flying A-7E Corsair II jets off the USS Constellation, one of my first squadron commanding officers was a High-Trust Leader, Commander L.J. Vernon, who lived the 5C’s every day.

Balance is a misnomer. It implies that one can apportion time and attention nearly equally to various roles and responsibilities. A fool’s errand fraught with frustration and guilt, and frankly not desirable. Rather than seeking balance, better to seek COHERENCE.

There is a guy on my team who scores well on four of the five C’s of trustworthiness: character, commitment, competence, connection, and communication.

The problem — He’s slow to respond to emails, phone calls, voicemails.