This is something many leaders miss. And it costs them more than they realize. Just watch an episode of Undercover Boss.

Why? Because we don’t see the world as it is, we see it as we are. Everyone sees the world and events in their own way, from their own perspective and experience — no two of us see life exactly the same.

It’s much easier to connect with someone you agree with. You are already in alignment. Much harder to connect with someone who disagrees with you. How do you get them to believe you understand them?

Late November I received a holiday card from a good friend. He sends them before every holiday. Actually, he doesn’t send them, a holiday-card email service sends them to everyone on his mailing list.

Many cultures and religions have strong traditions of extending hospitality, even to strangers. Often because it originated as a matter of survival. During early days, helping others was necessary for survival of the species. Along the way, extending hospitality was woven into most people’s hormonal reward system by nature and nurture. Extending hospitality that is gratefully received causes the release of dopamine and a feeling of pleasure.

Gratitude is a powerful emotion with many benefits, including better health, improved relationships, and a sense of humility that allows for greater empathy. In contrast, it becomes obvious when you think of someone you know who is ungrateful and carries a large sense of entitlement.